As you may have noticed I am a sunriser and use the sunshine to praise God’s glory upon us as I start my day. It fills me with hope, nourishes my soul, inspires my steps and keeps me in balance. Trust me whrn I don’t trust in him my day is not the same.
I was raised Catholic and appreciate those teachings I had about my creator. I knew the basics but did rebel to live by them. Those young trials and tribulations I experienced felt like the world was ending and now older and wiser realize how different they would have been had I rebelled less against them.
As I grew older I grew closer to God and developed an understanding that its not about the religion you belong to but the relationship you develop with God that’s most important. It superscedes all else for me.
As my children went thru their growing pains so did I and many times theirs helped me decipher my misconceptions. I remember going to my mom and sharing my childrens trials often, they were bonding moments and especially one in particular when she compared it to one of mine and she smiled and said, I’m so happy you finally get it”. We laughed then but trust me, this rebel was tough to break.
Through these last 7 years I not only lost her but have felt much around me change. Not only because of her passing but with the World and some personal trials that entailed tough love.
I once again needed to assess the methods of action and some were good some not. Things often played out well and others backfired even when putting as much love as humanly possible within me.
One day not too long ago, a reoccurring incident took me to tipping point and I bursted out in tears and outrage and even demanded Gods response in anger and asked him, “what more do you want of me? I can’t do this alone and don’t know what else to do. I kid you not, to my dismay he responded and said, “when are you going to stop trying to do things your way and do them my way.”
A sudden momment of shock hit me, I even questioned if I truly heard him and then a sign cane and I surrendered and felt him deep within me as if the holy spitit descended upon me. This had happened one other time in my 30’s during yet another tribulation and I knew the feeling well. The first time I was visiting a church and he seeked me out amongst a full audience snd brought me and my baby in route to the altar and when the holy spirit descended upon me I fell to the ground and was out. This time it was more of a calming breeze but both times I immediately felt released. He assured me that if I put it in his hands and asked him to take over I would be fine as well as the situation at hand. How WoW is that.
So now I know better and try not to miss that morning glory, praising him firsthand, asking for his guidance to lead my daily steps, covering me with his armour and recvealing the truth of anything hidden. In gratitude for this I also ask him to use me as his instrument so that others may draw closer as I once forgot and needed to he reminded. Halleluyah that he never gives up on us and are forgiven from sin because he loves us soooo much that he sacrificed his son Jesus so that we may be forgiven & freed from bondage.